Less Than Ideal - Chapter 1
May. 28th, 2004 02:35 pmI still have no idea what to title this, so for now I'm calling it "Less Than Ideal." I also considered "Ending Means" and "What Thin Partitions," but with those I was sort of injecting a theme into something which isn't terribly thematic .... relying on the title to convey a message is sort of crutch, right? I guess I'll just pick some random line after I finish.
Wait, did I just say that? I'm not going to finish this, so forget it. Prologue is here.
Series: Naruto
Author: sub_divided
Email: onyabear@yahoo.com
Pairings: None, really. SasuNaru if you're obsessive. SakuLee if you squint.
Disclaimers: Not mine. I'd ruin it.
Description (whole story): "Naruto is forced into a lose-lose situation, where failure means death, enslavement, or, worst of all, being stuck in second place; success means taking away his partner's purpose in life."
Description (this chapter): Sakura at 17. From whence comes strength?
( Chapter 1: Because That's How it Is (Sakura) )
Problems I see with this one:
I think I made the "moral message" too obvious. Too much telling. And poor Sakura, so callously used for exposition purposes... not a lot happens in this chapter. Working in italics is both a pain and another crutch. Also, the style here is different from the style of the prologue. I wrote this one first, my first-ever piece of fanfiction for any series. So of course it's mostly an introspective (what you mean there's something else?).
Wait, did I just say that? I'm not going to finish this, so forget it. Prologue is here.
Series: Naruto
Author: sub_divided
Email: onyabear@yahoo.com
Pairings: None, really. SasuNaru if you're obsessive. SakuLee if you squint.
Disclaimers: Not mine. I'd ruin it.
Description (whole story): "Naruto is forced into a lose-lose situation, where failure means death, enslavement, or, worst of all, being stuck in second place; success means taking away his partner's purpose in life."
Description (this chapter): Sakura at 17. From whence comes strength?
( Chapter 1: Because That's How it Is (Sakura) )
Problems I see with this one:
I think I made the "moral message" too obvious. Too much telling. And poor Sakura, so callously used for exposition purposes... not a lot happens in this chapter. Working in italics is both a pain and another crutch. Also, the style here is different from the style of the prologue. I wrote this one first, my first-ever piece of fanfiction for any series. So of course it's mostly an introspective (what you mean there's something else?).
