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sub_dividedThere's something satisfyingly primal about reducing a 20-foot hedge to an 8-foot hedge with a chainsaw. (That is, if the word "primal" can be used in the context of horticulture. I say it can.) Witness:the joy of a job half-done. The best part is I'm getting paid to do this. The second best part is I finally found a use for those safety goggles I stole from Lucent Labs.
My Highly Scientific Ratings for the Political Ads at moveon.org:
Aren't very scientific at all. Some links are to Quicktime movie files- if you need another format, check the link above. Order is from most to least recent. Oh, and My Qualification: rating? Approximately 0.001/10, where the 1 is because I'm a registered voter.
1)Fire Rumsfeld
Description: Edgy music plays while a narrator points out all of the terrible things Rumsfeld has done to us. "Why hasn't George Bush fired this man?"
Effectiveness: 3/10. It's not really about the election at all. Few hard facts. So while I want to believe that the fact that Rumsfeld lied to us a lot counts for something... no.
Potential for Backlash: 8/10. It's probably true, but this ad gets on my nerves. And if I find it grating then there's probably no hope.
Technical Merits: 3/10. Nothing but still frames and man, does that edgey music grate on you.
Final Word: An ad only the seriously hard-nosed need view.
2) Kerry: The People's Choice
Description: Bush and Kerry debate, where Bush is represented by evil corporate slimeballs and Kerry by a factory worker, a woman, and an asthmatic child.
Effectiveness: 3/10. It's good to be reminded where Bush's real interests lay, but this is old news.
Potential for Backlash: 9/10. The ad feels like liberal demagoguery more than anything else.
Technical Merit: 2/10. The red/white/blue color scheme is ugly, and face morphs are so early nineties music video. Titles aren't left onscreen long enough.
Final Word: It bites. The Bush criticisms might be cutting, but they're also old. The Kerry-support comments are unsupported and half-assed. Moveon.org is much better at sending negative messages than positive ones.
3) Compassion/Truth/Hope/Edwards
Description: Uplifting clips from John Edwards' speeches are contrasted with terror-mongering ones from Dick Cheney.
Effectiveness: 6/10. I'm tired of artificially heightened paranoia too, and Edwards is a good speaker.
Potential for Backlash: 4/10. It's hard to argue with direct quotations. It is troubling, however, that some of Cheney's clips were of him quoting Al-Quaida (and not of his own words).
Technical Merit: 4/10. Nothing too exciting. Bad choice of opening music. The way "FEAR" pulsed was cheesy more than anything else. I liked the way they slowly shrunk and colored red Cheney's clips, though- very atmospheric.
Final Word: It won't convince you that the Bush Administration has been purposefully over-stating danger levels if you don't already believe it; if you do this is the ad for you.
4) War Records
Description: Contrasts Kerry's history as a war hero (complete with fake Vietnam footage) with Bush's as that guy who never showed up for work.
Effectiveness: 8/10. Kerry's gotten a lot of flak for his service record recently; this ad serves as a reminder not only that it's all lies but also that Bush's record is about a million times worse.
Potential for Backlash: 1/10. Nothing but the facts. If anything, I'm waiting for those Swift Boat ads to backfire on Bush.
Technical Merit: 7/10. The first half looks like an authentic documentary and the second has excellent cinematography. Nice fonts, nice music, nice voice-over.
Final Word: . I hate that service records matter in Presidential elections, but this is good timing. Kerry's situation is eerily similar to the premise of The Manchurian Candidate (and here's to hoping that doesn't affect things too much). I worship the last line (It's between John Kerry who left no man behind, and George Bush who simply... left).
5) The President Lied to Us!
Description:Fake Bush voice-over describing the actual facts about Iraq, ending with a call for Congress to Censure the President for his untruthfulness.
Effectiveness: 7/10. Man do I want to believe this is effective. It is not cool when Presidents lie to us (as all the evidence seems to indicate this one did). NOT COOL.
Potential for Backlash: 7/10. The voice is impersonated and the message is strong. Relies on the viewer independently providing all supporting evidence.
Technical Merit: 5/10. Nothing but still frames. The guy impersonating Bush did a really great job, though.
Final Word: NOT COOL. THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO LIE.
6) George Bush: He's Not On Our Side
Description: Average-Joe montage with a voice-over describing oversea job losses and the elimination of overtime pay.
Effectiveness: 6/10? I'm not a worker and I don't know the issues involved, so it's hard to judge. Not as effective as Kerry's own ads on this topic as they're more factual and less emotional.
Potential for Backlash: 6/10. No facts and it feels contrived.
Technical Merit: 8/10. Excellent montage work, very moody. They pulled out some stops for this one: too slick, if anything.
Final Word: The beginning reminds me of Taxi Driver. I wish I knew whether or not the stuff in here is true. It's a hit-or-miss kind of ad: perfect if you're affected and perfectly irrelevant if you're not.
7) Polygraph
Description: Bush gives statements on the war in Iraq. He's lying.
Effectiveness: 8/10. Lying is NOT COOL!
Potential for Backlash: 3/10. These are direct quotes which have all been proven indisputably false. The polygraph test visual allows the ad makers to imply that Bush was lying deliberately without having to say it.
Technical Merit: 5/10. The polygraph thing was a brilliant idea, but the bombastic writing at the end of the ad (Americans are dying... for the truth!) ruins the effect quite a bit.
Final Word: Like the Bush Lied to Us! ad, but more subtle.
8) Medicare (Mis)Leader
Description: "Bush" tells us what he's really planning for the nation's elderly.
Effectiveness: Sadly, only 5/10. It's a very funny ad, but I doubt poor starving sick old people will get the joke.
Potential for Backlash: 6/10. This is no laughing matter! On the other hand, "Bush" does stick to only relating things that are factually true, which is more than can be said of the real one.
Technical Merit: 9/10. Perfect comedic timing, obviously high production values.
The Final Word: Funny and true. A pleasure to watch.
9) Child's Play
Description: The bushin30seconds award winner that they tried to air during the Super Bowl. Children work adult jobs to pay off Bush's 1 trillion dollar deficit.
Effectiveness: 6/10. Simple, yet chilling. Very little information, though.
Potential for Backlash: 5/10. This plays more like an ad for life insurance than one for politics.
Technical Merit: 10/10. Good music, good timing, adorable kids. Very slick.
Final Word: This one still gives me chills. Beautifully directed, although intellectually hollow. Easy to grasp.
10) George Bush: He's Pulling the Rug Out From Under Medicare
Description: "George Bush" goes around pulling on rugs. No, really.
Effectiveness: 6/10. That guy who does all the voice-overs (have I mentioned he sounds like Winnie the Pooh?) outlines the relevant facts, and they're relevant.
Potential for Backlash:4/10. The rug metaphor is kinda dumb. Other than that, it's fine.
Technical Merits: 4/10. The old people look funny when they're falling over. Tee hee.
The Final Word: This is what you get when bad metaphors happen to good ads.
I just wasted three hours of my life.
My Highly Scientific Ratings for the Political Ads at moveon.org:
Aren't very scientific at all. Some links are to Quicktime movie files- if you need another format, check the link above. Order is from most to least recent. Oh, and My Qualification: rating? Approximately 0.001/10, where the 1 is because I'm a registered voter.
1)Fire Rumsfeld
Description: Edgy music plays while a narrator points out all of the terrible things Rumsfeld has done to us. "Why hasn't George Bush fired this man?"
Effectiveness: 3/10. It's not really about the election at all. Few hard facts. So while I want to believe that the fact that Rumsfeld lied to us a lot counts for something... no.
Potential for Backlash: 8/10. It's probably true, but this ad gets on my nerves. And if I find it grating then there's probably no hope.
Technical Merits: 3/10. Nothing but still frames and man, does that edgey music grate on you.
Final Word: An ad only the seriously hard-nosed need view.
2) Kerry: The People's Choice
Description: Bush and Kerry debate, where Bush is represented by evil corporate slimeballs and Kerry by a factory worker, a woman, and an asthmatic child.
Effectiveness: 3/10. It's good to be reminded where Bush's real interests lay, but this is old news.
Potential for Backlash: 9/10. The ad feels like liberal demagoguery more than anything else.
Technical Merit: 2/10. The red/white/blue color scheme is ugly, and face morphs are so early nineties music video. Titles aren't left onscreen long enough.
Final Word: It bites. The Bush criticisms might be cutting, but they're also old. The Kerry-support comments are unsupported and half-assed. Moveon.org is much better at sending negative messages than positive ones.
3) Compassion/Truth/Hope/Edwards
Description: Uplifting clips from John Edwards' speeches are contrasted with terror-mongering ones from Dick Cheney.
Effectiveness: 6/10. I'm tired of artificially heightened paranoia too, and Edwards is a good speaker.
Potential for Backlash: 4/10. It's hard to argue with direct quotations. It is troubling, however, that some of Cheney's clips were of him quoting Al-Quaida (and not of his own words).
Technical Merit: 4/10. Nothing too exciting. Bad choice of opening music. The way "FEAR" pulsed was cheesy more than anything else. I liked the way they slowly shrunk and colored red Cheney's clips, though- very atmospheric.
Final Word: It won't convince you that the Bush Administration has been purposefully over-stating danger levels if you don't already believe it; if you do this is the ad for you.
4) War Records
Description: Contrasts Kerry's history as a war hero (complete with fake Vietnam footage) with Bush's as that guy who never showed up for work.
Effectiveness: 8/10. Kerry's gotten a lot of flak for his service record recently; this ad serves as a reminder not only that it's all lies but also that Bush's record is about a million times worse.
Potential for Backlash: 1/10. Nothing but the facts. If anything, I'm waiting for those Swift Boat ads to backfire on Bush.
Technical Merit: 7/10. The first half looks like an authentic documentary and the second has excellent cinematography. Nice fonts, nice music, nice voice-over.
Final Word: . I hate that service records matter in Presidential elections, but this is good timing. Kerry's situation is eerily similar to the premise of The Manchurian Candidate (and here's to hoping that doesn't affect things too much). I worship the last line (It's between John Kerry who left no man behind, and George Bush who simply... left).
5) The President Lied to Us!
Description:Fake Bush voice-over describing the actual facts about Iraq, ending with a call for Congress to Censure the President for his untruthfulness.
Effectiveness: 7/10. Man do I want to believe this is effective. It is not cool when Presidents lie to us (as all the evidence seems to indicate this one did). NOT COOL.
Potential for Backlash: 7/10. The voice is impersonated and the message is strong. Relies on the viewer independently providing all supporting evidence.
Technical Merit: 5/10. Nothing but still frames. The guy impersonating Bush did a really great job, though.
Final Word: NOT COOL. THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO LIE.
6) George Bush: He's Not On Our Side
Description: Average-Joe montage with a voice-over describing oversea job losses and the elimination of overtime pay.
Effectiveness: 6/10? I'm not a worker and I don't know the issues involved, so it's hard to judge. Not as effective as Kerry's own ads on this topic as they're more factual and less emotional.
Potential for Backlash: 6/10. No facts and it feels contrived.
Technical Merit: 8/10. Excellent montage work, very moody. They pulled out some stops for this one: too slick, if anything.
Final Word: The beginning reminds me of Taxi Driver. I wish I knew whether or not the stuff in here is true. It's a hit-or-miss kind of ad: perfect if you're affected and perfectly irrelevant if you're not.
7) Polygraph
Description: Bush gives statements on the war in Iraq. He's lying.
Effectiveness: 8/10. Lying is NOT COOL!
Potential for Backlash: 3/10. These are direct quotes which have all been proven indisputably false. The polygraph test visual allows the ad makers to imply that Bush was lying deliberately without having to say it.
Technical Merit: 5/10. The polygraph thing was a brilliant idea, but the bombastic writing at the end of the ad (Americans are dying... for the truth!) ruins the effect quite a bit.
Final Word: Like the Bush Lied to Us! ad, but more subtle.
8) Medicare (Mis)Leader
Description: "Bush" tells us what he's really planning for the nation's elderly.
Effectiveness: Sadly, only 5/10. It's a very funny ad, but I doubt poor starving sick old people will get the joke.
Potential for Backlash: 6/10. This is no laughing matter! On the other hand, "Bush" does stick to only relating things that are factually true, which is more than can be said of the real one.
Technical Merit: 9/10. Perfect comedic timing, obviously high production values.
The Final Word: Funny and true. A pleasure to watch.
9) Child's Play
Description: The bushin30seconds award winner that they tried to air during the Super Bowl. Children work adult jobs to pay off Bush's 1 trillion dollar deficit.
Effectiveness: 6/10. Simple, yet chilling. Very little information, though.
Potential for Backlash: 5/10. This plays more like an ad for life insurance than one for politics.
Technical Merit: 10/10. Good music, good timing, adorable kids. Very slick.
Final Word: This one still gives me chills. Beautifully directed, although intellectually hollow. Easy to grasp.
10) George Bush: He's Pulling the Rug Out From Under Medicare
Description: "George Bush" goes around pulling on rugs. No, really.
Effectiveness: 6/10. That guy who does all the voice-overs (have I mentioned he sounds like Winnie the Pooh?) outlines the relevant facts, and they're relevant.
Potential for Backlash:4/10. The rug metaphor is kinda dumb. Other than that, it's fine.
Technical Merits: 4/10. The old people look funny when they're falling over. Tee hee.
The Final Word: This is what you get when bad metaphors happen to good ads.
I just wasted three hours of my life.