HOGWARTS: A LIFE
Sep. 1st, 2005 12:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sub_divided*gives up on Hurricane Katrina condolence post* See, this is why it's bad to design a hospital system that operates at peak capacity under normal conditions. I think only three people on my flist are really affected, but geeze, my heart goes out to you.
So. That twelve characters meme? I'm not going to do it, partially because I'd rather do the "pair-up-the-characters-in-your-icons-meme" but mostly because my answers won't be nearly as funny as![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
svz_insanity's. Dude, this is the fourth time Fuji's walked in on two other characters having wildly improbable sex!
How would you feel if Seven/Eight [Fuji/Draco] was canon?
svz_insanity: Cry. Like, a lot. And then laugh, because Draco's going to be Fuji's bitch.
sub_divided: *falls out of chair* (XDXD, Candy by petronia)
"One [Tezuka] and Nine [Hermione Granger] are in a happy relationship until Nine [Hermione] suddenly runs off with Four [Sasuke]. One [Tezuka], broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven [L] and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve [Misa], then follows the wise advice of Five [Ryoma] and finds true love with Three [Akira]." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
svz_insanity: WHY STACY SHOULD NEVER BE GIVEN PIXIE STIXS, COFFEE, AND COMPUTER ACCESS AT FIVE A.M.
svz_insanity: don't you guys dare try!
sub_divided: *g*
So here is the version I left for her in comments. And below is the first half of the expanded version. Because IT REALLY DOES MAKE PERFECT SENSE.*** To be finished, ummm, probably never, which is a shame because I was really looking forward to the Tezuka/Ryoma scene.
...okay, maybe I'll finish by September 6th.Maybe.
Tezuka Kunimitsu and Hermione Granger were always the first to arrive at their Advanced Numerology class. A small, obscure course (most students hadn’t even heard of Numerology, never mind Advanced Numerology) it was held in the topmost room of the fifth tower. And the fifth tower, while arguably not the tallest building at Howarts (depending on your system of measurement and the phase of the moon), was indisputably the furthest away from the main body of campus. Even professor Furthernum was known to stagger in five minutes past the bell, sweating profusely.
Kunimitsu and Hermione, being both muggle-born and a Couple, were routinely accused of using illegitimate magical means to get to class. “She mixes Run-Jack-Run potions from spider’s blood he collects in the Forbidden Forest,” the story went, or sometimes, “He Apparates while she nullifies the Hogwarts enchantments.” There were a half-dozen explanations, one for each of their Numerology classmates (with one exception), but there were only three common factors:
1) Unbelievable feats of magical prowess. (Perhaps not so unbelievable: Hermione was the top student, not only in their class but in the entire school, and Kunimitsu was no slacker.)
2) A certain disregard for the rules. (Surely the two prefects were too good to be true? No one was that rule-abiding. (What’s more, less charitable heads whispered, everyone knows the muggle-born have no respect for the laws of the wizarding world, and even less of a sense of magical propriety.))
3) Teamwork. (Because as everyone knew, Kunimitsu and Hermione were A Pair, An Item, A Thing, In Love. Even their detractors admitted that there could be no more perfect couple in all of Hogwarts.)
The truth, Kunimitsu knew, was far less glamorous. Hermione’s Ancient Runes class was only three stories below. As for himself, Tezuka enjoyed the climb.
HOGWARTS: A LIFE
A crossover fanfiction by Subdee G. FantasyStar.
Chapter One: Trouble in Paradise
Kunimitsu reached the eighteenth floor, legs pumping like pistons. There’d be a full moon tonight, which meant that all twenty-rour flights of stairs would be present and that he, consequently, would only be two minutes early. It also meant he’d meet Hermione somewhere between the twentieth and twenty-third floor, and would courteously offer to carry her books for her. She would graciously accept. They’d walk together to the classroom, exchanging pleasantries about the homework, upcoming school events, and weather. Kunimitsu rounded the landing on the twenty-third floor and
…rounded the corner of the twenty-third floor and
There was the classroom, one floor early. Had he lost count? Why hadn’t he seen Hermione? With a mental shrug, Kunimitsu shifted his books to one arm and reached for the doorknob with the other.
The room was empty. He took his regular seat in the second row and placed his books neatly under the table. He drummed his fingers, then picked up his Numerology book. No sense wasting the next two minutes.
Kunimitsu felt most comfortable when striving to improve something. He wasn’t naturally a genius, but he worked harder than anyone. He worked until he’d eliminated chance. He bent his head to begin.
And looked up when the door opened. Perhaps that was
No, it was Touya Akira. His classmate gave a small polite bow, one Japanese national to another. Tezuka nodded, adjusted his glasses, and returned to his notes. At the edge of his vision, Akira sat, carefully arranging his wizard’s robes so as not to crease them. Tezuka was obscurely reassured: certain people could always be counted on to behave within routine.
It soon became apparent that Hermione would not be in class today. Kunimitsu left for quidditch practice as soon as the professor had finished his closing remarks.
In two days, the Griffindor team would be playing Slitherin minus their best scorer. She’d been careless during a practice drill earlier in the week, and was still recovering from several broken ribs. He was on the field alone for hours afterwards, working at his keeping with a Flitbright charm for light and several balls enchanted to randomly attempt the goalhoops.
Consequently, he didn’t return to the common room until well after 9:00pm. Therefore, he was the last person to hear the news.
“You’ll probably want to be alone,” Shindou said uncomfortably, and all but fled the room. Kunimitzu stared down at the envelope someone -- probably Shindou again -- had forced into his hand, frowning slightly. It had been opened and inexpertly resealed. His frown deepened.
The Griffindor common room had fallen suspiciously silent when he’d passed. He couldn’t remember whether it was against the school regulations to open someone else’s letter, or whether it was simply illegal; in either case, Tezuka didn’t approve of gossip. Fifty points from Griffindor.
He chose a favorite chair and began to read.
Chapter 2: Hermione’s Letter
“Dear Kunimitsu:
“I didn’t set out to fall out of love with you; or perhaps I should say, to fall in love without you. If we are being perfectly honest, neither of us had ever truly fallen in love. We’d only convinced ourselves we had.
“Do you remember the first time we met? It was just after you transferred here, an unseasonably cold October. The grounds were covered in something between frost and proper snow. You entered Hogwarts on a wave of notoriety – the first muggle-born admitted with a full Quidditch scholarship! –while I haunted the library, fretting over this and that. I’d just had another awful row with, Ron, you remember. I wanted “anyone but him” to ask me to the Halloween ball, even if I had to ask him.
“But you made that unnecessary, didn’t you? We fell into what can only be called a relationship of mutual benefits. I thought I’d found a thoughtful, handsome, intelligent, courteous man, there among the bookshelves. One who wouldn’t mind that my grades were higher. You treat everyone exactly the same; I remember admiring that about you.
“These past two years have been comfortable, haven’t they? Until last week I thought it was enough, that there wasn’t anything else. Until I met Uchiha Sasuke. Kunimitsu, I’m sorry. By the time you read this letter, I’ll have already left Hogwarts. Sasuke needs me with him more than I need to be here.
“You probably won’t understand, but I will do my best to explain anyway. I owe you that much, at least.
“When I met you in the library, I thought you were too good to be true. I…admired you, I suppose, the way you might admire a poem or a sculpture. Certainly I did not dislike our time together; but it was always so formal. I dreaded overstepping myself, acting indecorously and drawing that disapproving little frown you use to keep your team in line.
“But Sasuke’s different. I felt violently from the instant our eyes met over a winter rosebush. He was standing, a path of darkness against the snow; he was scowling, and I felt torn from the inside out. He’s so cool, I thought; but he was more than that. Sasuke is…Sasuke is. Sasuke is narrowed eyes and pursed lips and a tongue that cuts through you like a samurai sword. Sasuke is the well at the end of the world; the water is calm, but deeper than forever. I try to grasp it but it runs, liquid and wonderful, through my fingers to soak the earth.
“Sasuke isn’t wild, but he has an air of wildness about him. He’s exciting. You are meny things, Kunimitsu, but you were never exciting.
“Sasuke left for Transylvania to today, to find the wizard who has promised him a way to kill his brother (long story). I love him, and that’s why I’m going after him. Kunimitsu, please try to understand. I love him.
“Your friend,
Hermione Granger
“P.S. Love is not an antiseptic emotion. Love is not treating everyone the same. Love is obsession, love is unrestrained emotion, love is wantonness. As a friend and concerned party, I urge you to examine your own heart, to discover whether you have space for love, or whether you’d be better off alone."
Tezuka folded the letter into eighths, and buried it in the bottom of his trunk.
Chapter Three: Attempting to Recover Signal, Please Stand By
When people like Tezuka Kunimitsu lose control, they really lose control. They are in essence aesthetics, skilled in delaying or subverting or ignoring impulses. They are always fasting, and therefore always hungry; and if they ever give in the urge to eat, and eat quickly, they can very easily die from ruptured stomachs.
Tezuka watched himself close the trunk from a place outside himself. He read his own thoughts; like reading a book. He isn’t used to losing, he thought sympathetically of himself. He isn’t used to being found lacking. She wants him to re-examine himself. What is there to examine? He’s the person he’s shaped himself to be. If the shape was wrong, why hasn’t he heard about it sooner.
Unfit for human companionship. Preposterous. Her companionship, maybe. He’s never felt as she described. Who does? Only characters in books. Tezuka doesn’t read that kind of book.
It’s the next day. He’s standing in the Great Hall in his formal robes, and so is everyone else. It’s the annual Halloween Party. He’s alone. There’d been offers; he’d turned them down. No point rushing. He wants to test something but he didn’t know what. He wants something to change. The punch is spiked and he watches himself drink anyway, drink after drink like an automaton. He answers questions in one line until the other person gives up, person after person. Drink after drink.
This person isn’t giving up. He’s confined himself to short answers because he hates embarrassment, but this man twists everything around. No? No you don’t want company, or no you don’t know whether you want company? Which is it, Tezuka-kun? Aren’t these chocolate pumpkins delicious?.
He expects himself to give up, to let it alone. Two days ago, when only his own standards mattered, he would have. Instead he hears his answers getting longer; tonight he is tired of being misunderstood.
The words aren’t working and he isn’t sure it’s the alcohol. It could be this person, who he has never seen before. Wild black hair, black-on-black eyes. Pale. Underdressed. He might be a student but Kunimitsu doesn’t think so. He could be any age, it’s impossible to tell from his face; but something about his sense of humor makes him seem older.
He’s playing words games again. Kunimitsu stops talking, which he’s never liked doing anyway, and instead he takes him up to his room so he can show him, and no one sees them because everyone’s at the party and even the common room is deserted. He watches himself open the door, he watches himself light the lamps, he watches himself remove his glasses. The man is watching him; he feels his own relief at no longer having the means (and therefore obligation) to meet that wide-eyed stare. He watches himself hold the man’s hands out of the way with his left hand and lock the door with his right, kissing all the while.
Sheets, robes, hands, skin slick with sweat. He comes to himself between one gasp and the next. This is it, he thinks, though he doesn't know what "it" is.
Kunimitsu wakes up in his own head, alone, with a pounding headache, and realizes he doesn’t know the man’s name.
LOL PLZ REVIEW.
Chapters I didn’t get to
Chapter Four: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Chapter Five: The Match
Chapter Six: The Match (Made in Heaven)
So you'll just have to use your imagination.
...I just realized I forgot to assign everyone houses. XD That's the most important part! I only know Tezuka and Shindou (Tezuka's cheerfully oblivious roomate) and Hermione are Griffindor, although Hermione is actually fan!Hermione and therefore more properly a Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Feel free to suggest anyone else.
*** This is probably because the only Harry Potter fics I *ever* read are crossovers or crack pairings or both. So fics like this one (only much better written) are what I think of when I think of Harry Potter. Sad but true.
So. That twelve characters meme? I'm not going to do it, partially because I'd rather do the "pair-up-the-characters-in-your-icons-meme" but mostly because my answers won't be nearly as funny as
svz_insanity's. Dude, this is the fourth time Fuji's walked in on two other characters having wildly improbable sex!How would you feel if Seven/Eight [Fuji/Draco] was canon?
svz_insanity: Cry. Like, a lot. And then laugh, because Draco's going to be Fuji's bitch.sub_divided: *falls out of chair* (XDXD, Candy by petronia)"One [Tezuka] and Nine [Hermione Granger] are in a happy relationship until Nine [Hermione] suddenly runs off with Four [Sasuke]. One [Tezuka], broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven [L] and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve [Misa], then follows the wise advice of Five [Ryoma] and finds true love with Three [Akira]." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
svz_insanity: WHY STACY SHOULD NEVER BE GIVEN PIXIE STIXS, COFFEE, AND COMPUTER ACCESS AT FIVE A.M. svz_insanity: don't you guys dare try!sub_divided: *g* So here is the version I left for her in comments. And below is the first half of the expanded version. Because IT REALLY DOES MAKE PERFECT SENSE.*** To be finished, ummm, probably never, which is a shame because I was really looking forward to the Tezuka/Ryoma scene.
...okay, maybe I'll finish by September 6th.
Tezuka Kunimitsu and Hermione Granger were always the first to arrive at their Advanced Numerology class. A small, obscure course (most students hadn’t even heard of Numerology, never mind Advanced Numerology) it was held in the topmost room of the fifth tower. And the fifth tower, while arguably not the tallest building at Howarts (depending on your system of measurement and the phase of the moon), was indisputably the furthest away from the main body of campus. Even professor Furthernum was known to stagger in five minutes past the bell, sweating profusely.
Kunimitsu and Hermione, being both muggle-born and a Couple, were routinely accused of using illegitimate magical means to get to class. “She mixes Run-Jack-Run potions from spider’s blood he collects in the Forbidden Forest,” the story went, or sometimes, “He Apparates while she nullifies the Hogwarts enchantments.” There were a half-dozen explanations, one for each of their Numerology classmates (with one exception), but there were only three common factors:
1) Unbelievable feats of magical prowess. (Perhaps not so unbelievable: Hermione was the top student, not only in their class but in the entire school, and Kunimitsu was no slacker.)
2) A certain disregard for the rules. (Surely the two prefects were too good to be true? No one was that rule-abiding. (What’s more, less charitable heads whispered, everyone knows the muggle-born have no respect for the laws of the wizarding world, and even less of a sense of magical propriety.))
3) Teamwork. (Because as everyone knew, Kunimitsu and Hermione were A Pair, An Item, A Thing, In Love. Even their detractors admitted that there could be no more perfect couple in all of Hogwarts.)
The truth, Kunimitsu knew, was far less glamorous. Hermione’s Ancient Runes class was only three stories below. As for himself, Tezuka enjoyed the climb.
HOGWARTS: A LIFE
A crossover fanfiction by Subdee G. FantasyStar.
Chapter One: Trouble in Paradise
Kunimitsu reached the eighteenth floor, legs pumping like pistons. There’d be a full moon tonight, which meant that all twenty-rour flights of stairs would be present and that he, consequently, would only be two minutes early. It also meant he’d meet Hermione somewhere between the twentieth and twenty-third floor, and would courteously offer to carry her books for her. She would graciously accept. They’d walk together to the classroom, exchanging pleasantries about the homework, upcoming school events, and weather. Kunimitsu rounded the landing on the twenty-third floor and
…rounded the corner of the twenty-third floor and
There was the classroom, one floor early. Had he lost count? Why hadn’t he seen Hermione? With a mental shrug, Kunimitsu shifted his books to one arm and reached for the doorknob with the other.
The room was empty. He took his regular seat in the second row and placed his books neatly under the table. He drummed his fingers, then picked up his Numerology book. No sense wasting the next two minutes.
Kunimitsu felt most comfortable when striving to improve something. He wasn’t naturally a genius, but he worked harder than anyone. He worked until he’d eliminated chance. He bent his head to begin.
And looked up when the door opened. Perhaps that was
No, it was Touya Akira. His classmate gave a small polite bow, one Japanese national to another. Tezuka nodded, adjusted his glasses, and returned to his notes. At the edge of his vision, Akira sat, carefully arranging his wizard’s robes so as not to crease them. Tezuka was obscurely reassured: certain people could always be counted on to behave within routine.
It soon became apparent that Hermione would not be in class today. Kunimitsu left for quidditch practice as soon as the professor had finished his closing remarks.
In two days, the Griffindor team would be playing Slitherin minus their best scorer. She’d been careless during a practice drill earlier in the week, and was still recovering from several broken ribs. He was on the field alone for hours afterwards, working at his keeping with a Flitbright charm for light and several balls enchanted to randomly attempt the goalhoops.
Consequently, he didn’t return to the common room until well after 9:00pm. Therefore, he was the last person to hear the news.
“You’ll probably want to be alone,” Shindou said uncomfortably, and all but fled the room. Kunimitzu stared down at the envelope someone -- probably Shindou again -- had forced into his hand, frowning slightly. It had been opened and inexpertly resealed. His frown deepened.
The Griffindor common room had fallen suspiciously silent when he’d passed. He couldn’t remember whether it was against the school regulations to open someone else’s letter, or whether it was simply illegal; in either case, Tezuka didn’t approve of gossip. Fifty points from Griffindor.
He chose a favorite chair and began to read.
Chapter 2: Hermione’s Letter
“Dear Kunimitsu:
“I didn’t set out to fall out of love with you; or perhaps I should say, to fall in love without you. If we are being perfectly honest, neither of us had ever truly fallen in love. We’d only convinced ourselves we had.
“Do you remember the first time we met? It was just after you transferred here, an unseasonably cold October. The grounds were covered in something between frost and proper snow. You entered Hogwarts on a wave of notoriety – the first muggle-born admitted with a full Quidditch scholarship! –while I haunted the library, fretting over this and that. I’d just had another awful row with, Ron, you remember. I wanted “anyone but him” to ask me to the Halloween ball, even if I had to ask him.
“But you made that unnecessary, didn’t you? We fell into what can only be called a relationship of mutual benefits. I thought I’d found a thoughtful, handsome, intelligent, courteous man, there among the bookshelves. One who wouldn’t mind that my grades were higher. You treat everyone exactly the same; I remember admiring that about you.
“These past two years have been comfortable, haven’t they? Until last week I thought it was enough, that there wasn’t anything else. Until I met Uchiha Sasuke. Kunimitsu, I’m sorry. By the time you read this letter, I’ll have already left Hogwarts. Sasuke needs me with him more than I need to be here.
“You probably won’t understand, but I will do my best to explain anyway. I owe you that much, at least.
“When I met you in the library, I thought you were too good to be true. I…admired you, I suppose, the way you might admire a poem or a sculpture. Certainly I did not dislike our time together; but it was always so formal. I dreaded overstepping myself, acting indecorously and drawing that disapproving little frown you use to keep your team in line.
“But Sasuke’s different. I felt violently from the instant our eyes met over a winter rosebush. He was standing, a path of darkness against the snow; he was scowling, and I felt torn from the inside out. He’s so cool, I thought; but he was more than that. Sasuke is…Sasuke is. Sasuke is narrowed eyes and pursed lips and a tongue that cuts through you like a samurai sword. Sasuke is the well at the end of the world; the water is calm, but deeper than forever. I try to grasp it but it runs, liquid and wonderful, through my fingers to soak the earth.
“Sasuke isn’t wild, but he has an air of wildness about him. He’s exciting. You are meny things, Kunimitsu, but you were never exciting.
“Sasuke left for Transylvania to today, to find the wizard who has promised him a way to kill his brother (long story). I love him, and that’s why I’m going after him. Kunimitsu, please try to understand. I love him.
“Your friend,
Hermione Granger
“P.S. Love is not an antiseptic emotion. Love is not treating everyone the same. Love is obsession, love is unrestrained emotion, love is wantonness. As a friend and concerned party, I urge you to examine your own heart, to discover whether you have space for love, or whether you’d be better off alone."
Tezuka folded the letter into eighths, and buried it in the bottom of his trunk.
Chapter Three: Attempting to Recover Signal, Please Stand By
When people like Tezuka Kunimitsu lose control, they really lose control. They are in essence aesthetics, skilled in delaying or subverting or ignoring impulses. They are always fasting, and therefore always hungry; and if they ever give in the urge to eat, and eat quickly, they can very easily die from ruptured stomachs.
Tezuka watched himself close the trunk from a place outside himself. He read his own thoughts; like reading a book. He isn’t used to losing, he thought sympathetically of himself. He isn’t used to being found lacking. She wants him to re-examine himself. What is there to examine? He’s the person he’s shaped himself to be. If the shape was wrong, why hasn’t he heard about it sooner.
Unfit for human companionship. Preposterous. Her companionship, maybe. He’s never felt as she described. Who does? Only characters in books. Tezuka doesn’t read that kind of book.
It’s the next day. He’s standing in the Great Hall in his formal robes, and so is everyone else. It’s the annual Halloween Party. He’s alone. There’d been offers; he’d turned them down. No point rushing. He wants to test something but he didn’t know what. He wants something to change. The punch is spiked and he watches himself drink anyway, drink after drink like an automaton. He answers questions in one line until the other person gives up, person after person. Drink after drink.
This person isn’t giving up. He’s confined himself to short answers because he hates embarrassment, but this man twists everything around. No? No you don’t want company, or no you don’t know whether you want company? Which is it, Tezuka-kun? Aren’t these chocolate pumpkins delicious?.
He expects himself to give up, to let it alone. Two days ago, when only his own standards mattered, he would have. Instead he hears his answers getting longer; tonight he is tired of being misunderstood.
The words aren’t working and he isn’t sure it’s the alcohol. It could be this person, who he has never seen before. Wild black hair, black-on-black eyes. Pale. Underdressed. He might be a student but Kunimitsu doesn’t think so. He could be any age, it’s impossible to tell from his face; but something about his sense of humor makes him seem older.
He’s playing words games again. Kunimitsu stops talking, which he’s never liked doing anyway, and instead he takes him up to his room so he can show him, and no one sees them because everyone’s at the party and even the common room is deserted. He watches himself open the door, he watches himself light the lamps, he watches himself remove his glasses. The man is watching him; he feels his own relief at no longer having the means (and therefore obligation) to meet that wide-eyed stare. He watches himself hold the man’s hands out of the way with his left hand and lock the door with his right, kissing all the while.
Sheets, robes, hands, skin slick with sweat. He comes to himself between one gasp and the next. This is it, he thinks, though he doesn't know what "it" is.
Kunimitsu wakes up in his own head, alone, with a pounding headache, and realizes he doesn’t know the man’s name.
LOL PLZ REVIEW.
Chapters I didn’t get to
Chapter Four: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Chapter Five: The Match
Chapter Six: The Match (Made in Heaven)
So you'll just have to use your imagination.
...I just realized I forgot to assign everyone houses. XD That's the most important part! I only know Tezuka and Shindou (Tezuka's cheerfully oblivious roomate) and Hermione are Griffindor, although Hermione is actually fan!Hermione and therefore more properly a Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Feel free to suggest anyone else.
*** This is probably because the only Harry Potter fics I *ever* read are crossovers or crack pairings or both. So fics like this one (only much better written) are what I think of when I think of Harry Potter. Sad but true.