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Around 11:30am today I looked up from answering email, noticed it was 11:30am, and thought damn. When's the last time I went to that GEOSCI lecture anyway?

On the fic front: oh, look. More gen. *headdesk* I have to get into the habit of mindlessly churning these things out. And thank you for correcting me, Certain Persons!

Title: My Hero!
Series: Hunter x Hunter
Pairing: I was supposed to be writing KilluaGon?
Genre: Action/Adventure! What's the hxh equilivent of a casefic? Jobfic? Huntfic? o_O
Rating: G. *cries*
[livejournal.com profile] 30_kisses Theme: 13 (Excessive Chain)


***

The prison room was lit only by torches, baleful malignant ones that produced almost more smoke than light and flickered violently with the draft. The walls, floor, and presumably ceiling--who could tell through all the smoke and atmospheric gloom?--were made of rough stone formed into large slabs. Slight irregularities made the room look more like a cave than a civilized dungeon. In the far corner a young girl was huddled against the cold and the damp. Her hands were tied together in front of her and she was bent over them, sniffing piteously but otherwise making no move to free herself. Surrounded by pools of darkness, the torchlight illuminating her artfully disarrayed blond hair, she was a model of tragedy.

On the opposite side of the room, a tall and villainous but otherwise unremarkable man was bent over a large desk, scribbling notes and giggling to himself. The desk was the only substantial piece of funiture in the otherwise bare room. It was covered in incomprehensible-yet-sinister diagrams; the man was dressed in embroidered black silk robes with glinting heavy boots, a typical petty evil overlord. Only the sounds of his pen across the paper, his mad soft cackling, the girl's quietly artistic misery and, somewhere, the regular drip of water disturbed the silence.

Killua, meanwhile, was shacked to the wall pretending to be in pain. As during his short life he'd had almost as much practice in faking pain as he'd had in being shackled to walls, this wasn't terribly difficult. The handcuffs were low enough that he could actually stand in them, albeit on the tips of his toes. He was, at most, mildly uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable and BORED. Hadn't he seen a B movie like this once?

"At last, my master work is complete!" the man exclaimed. Killua rolled his eyes. Discretely, of course: when the man turned to face him, he saw nothing in Killua's face but blank horror. "With this, I can easily conquer the whole Western Seaboard! Would you like to see? Would you? You want to see, right?"

Killua shook his head. What was with this guy? He was not only unoriginal, overdramatic, and badly dressed, but (probably) the most pathetically attention-seeking evil villain ever. He sucked at torture, too.

"I'll pass."

"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport!" The man pouted like a little girl, then brightened. "I know! If you don't want to see, you can feel! My very first test subject, yay~!" He advanced with a fixed grin, his "master plan" crumpled in one hand and a wicked looking needle--where had that come from?--in the other.

What to do? Killua was immune to most poisons, but something about the set-up was bothering him. It was wrong, somehow... the generic-ness of the dungeon, the way the man was smiling, the needle that hadn't been there before. The whole thing reeked of Nen. But what kind? And how was it being used?

Killua's dilemma -- and the villain's advance -- both abruptly ended with the explosion of the far wall. Where stone had been only a few moments before, Killua could easily pick out Gon's silhouette, grinning amidst a shower of a rock dust and still-flaming debris. Killua ignored the shrieking girl (having picked the wrong wall to cry against, she was now scrambling frantically away from the wreckage) to focus on Gon. He almost smiled back.

"Killua! I found it!" Gon exclaimed. He waved a small gold box, inlaid with what might have been semiprecious stones. The thing was practically glowing with Nen; it was the real thing, no doubt about it.

Killua casually broke the restraints holding him to the wall. "Good," he said, stepping forward. He disposed of the would-be evil overlord in one easy motion, a quick jab to the neck before the man could overcome his stunned paralysis. He immediately collapsed. Killua massaged his wrists-damn, he'd been chained up for a while. "What took you so long?"

"This place has some really strange traps! Just wait til you hear, you probably won't believe..."

"My hero!" the girl interrupted. She flung herself at Gon, who looked started but obligingly shifted the box to his other hand so that he could catch her before she fell.

"Oh, are you a prisoner here too? Let me untie you." Gon tried to get at the knots binding her wrists, but was thwarted by the way she kept trying to embrace him. He glanced over at Killua: help me, the look seemed to say. Killua, secretly amused, just gave him a look back: you're on your own.

"You're so cool! And smart and brave! I bet the half-manticore guards didn't even slow you down~! Did you get to the triangle lasers? No one's ever gotten to those! Tell me! Tell me tell me tell me!"

"Eh," Gon said. "It's wasn't a big deal. Could you stop moving for a second?"

The girl wasn't having any of it. "Don't be such a spoilsport!" she exclaimed. "And now your reward - a kiss for the victor!" She leaned forward.

Time suddenly stopped for Killua. The generic dungeon. Needles that appeared out of nowhere to glint in nonexistent light. The excessively girly evil overlord. The way he'd momentarily frozen when the wall blew in...

Don't be such a spoilsport!

"Gon!" he said. "Don't! She's trying to man-"

"Don't what?" Gon asked. He'd punched the girl away from him and was now carefully examining the box for scratches. "Don't let her kiss me? I already figured that one out. The girl's the one behind everything, right?"

"How did you know?" Killua asked. The unoriginality of the dungeon had been his first clue, and the girlishness of the overlord his second, but Gon didn't share his sensibilities and couldn't have known the rest of it. So how had he figured it out?

"She asked about the triangle lasers." Gon said. "If no one else ever made it that far, how else could she have known about them?"

Ah. That made sense. Killua hit him in the back of the head. "Stupid! Maybe this guy," he pointed to the still-unconscious "evil overlord", who was now lying next to an equally unconscious little girl with brown hair, "told her about them!"

Gon rubbed his head and looked remorseful. "You didn't have to hit me! I didn't think of that!"

Killua snorted. "Obviously. You're just lucky you were right."

Gon just smiled. Killua was not going to smile back. He wasn't. He was not going... ah, damn it. "Come on, we have a reward to collect," he said, grumpily. He put his hands behind his head--he had an image to maintain, after all.

Gon just smiled and followed him out.

***

ONE SECOND LATER:

"Is it really ok to leave them like that?"

"Why shouldn't we?"

"What if they wake up and cause more trouble?"

"We already have what we came for. Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

"…"

"Killua!"

"…Fine."


********THE END!*********

March 2022

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